I just love these, it's why I started collecting them.
Suddenly you're in a situation where one would be so good to remember!
I always hope I will.

Stupidity is not a handicap. You have to park elsewhere.

Speed doesn't kill. Stopping very fast kills.

Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.

You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

I have seen the evidence. I want DIFFERENT evidence.

User Friendly : Never having to say "I read the manual."

"Push to test" "Release to detonate"

Oh, no, not another learning experience!

Personally, I don't believe in atheists.

The computer revolution is over. They won.

I'm not FOR apathy, and I'm not against it.

I'm not lost, I'm locationally challenged.

I'm working on my 2nd million. I gave up on the first.

I'm writing a book. I've got the page numbers done.

Always make stupid moves, it confuses your opponent.

Ambidextrose: able to put sugar in coffee with either hand.

Arsonists of the world, ignite!

COMMAND: A suggestion made to a computer.

Light year: A regular year with less calories.

Look closely, you'll find it's not in the manual.

Become a programmer - crash your computer for a living.

RAM DISK is not an installation procedure.

I voted for change and that's all I've got left.

To err is human - to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Warning: Dates in calendar are closer than they appear.

Double your drive space. Delete Windows.

They made us eat porridge. It was a gruelling experience.

Old musicians don't die, they just decompose.

"Bother!" said Pooh, as his bungie cord broke.

If we aren't supposed to eat animals, why are they made of meat?

A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change.

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Mental backup in progress - Do Not Disturb!

Quantum Mechanics: The dreams stuff is made of.

Dancing is a perpendicular expression of a horizontal desire.

We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.

If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong.

Good girls are bad girls that never get caught.

He who smiles in a crisis has found someone to blame.

Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Some mistakes are too much fun to only make once.

I always take life with a grain of salt, plus a slice of lemon, and a shot of tequila.